Mozart Didn't Plat 2nd Base - By Josef Behrens

Carmen - and we don't mean Miranda

Costumes. Costumes. When one thinks of costumes,especially if you're an opera buff, the New York Metropolitan Opera Co. comes to mind because they are world famous and probably have the best and most authentic costumes of any opera company. Anyway when I was a high school freshman our local professional opera company (pardon the expression) decided to stage Bizet's "Carmen" at the local high school. The stage was hardly large enough for a jazz quartet let alone an opera but the local company plowed forward and rented costumes from the New Yorkers. Since I was, even at a relatively early age very active in the school's music department I was asked to dress and act like an authentic matador (silly in itself since I was a kid living on the East side of Paterson, N.J. and what the hell did I know about acting like a bullfighter) At any rate I was clothed in red velvet, with a black velvet hat and adorned with a cummerbund - the crux of this little narrative. I was asked to attach the cummerbund to my waist, turn in circles to the costume director, who then clipped it into place. I complained to him that the cummerbund seemed loose but he assured me that it was fine. "Look Ma! I'm a real matador!".The scene where Escamillo. the hero of the opera, enters the bull fight arena to the cheers of the crowd.was next. There I was walking (or strutting as it seemed) to the center of the stage where the arena entrance stood, I got halfway there and my pants fell down (oops). Strange tthing that after all these decades I don't remember a thing about the opera, the singers, the orchestra and the like except the feeling of my pants sliding down my adolescent leg.